What you DONT want to hear while having surgery

1. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.

2. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”

3. Hand me that…uh…that uh…thingie.

4. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

5. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

6. There go the lights again…

7. “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys…and this guy’s got two of ‘em.”

8. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

9. Could you stop that thing from beating, it’s throwing my concentration off.

10. Sterile, schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?

11. What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?

12. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

13. Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?

14. What do you mean “You want a divorce!”

15. Fire! Fire! Everyone get out.

16. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing.

17. Oh, look everyone. It’s lunch time.

18. The foot bone’s connected to the, leg bone…

19. That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?!

20. Hey, if you pull on this it makes a funny noise.